Do you find that you blow up often? Do you keep regretting saying mean things to people that you love? Does having 24/7 access to the news cycle constantly make you feel outraged to the highly emotionally charged messages?
Well, realistically we have all become unhinged at some point in time.
However, if ‘losing it’ is something that is happening too often with you then it suggests that you are unable to manage your emotions appropriately in the face of anger and emotional tension.
If you want to be someone who stays calm like running “river water” instead of the “turbulent seas”, you need to take control of your thoughts and emotions instead of letting them take control of you and your life.
5 Effective tips to think about:
- Make some rules for your personal behaviour
If you want to behave rationally in overwhelmingly negative situations, you will have to prepare yourself and make some rules for enhancing your accountability.
Some examples are promising yourself not to use very strong words, abusive words, or emotionally charged phrases when you feel like your buttons are getting pushed.
- Make some rules for your life
Making some important rules for your life can help you manage unexpected situations with grace but making these rules can be a challenge.
You can decide how you would like to be treated and which behaviours are unacceptable, but actions are louder than words.
Therefore, on occasions when emotions can get out of control, you will need to refrain from engaging in the ‘tic for tac’ verbal stoushes which can quickly spiral out of control.
Instead, try to teach change through your own actions. (Sometimes easier said than done – but at least try)
- Make a commitment to become an effective communicator
Effective communication enhances the chances of successfully coming out of situations where you feel like you’ve been put through an emotional washing machine.
Counselling Melbourne can provide you with different strategies and approaches.
For example, using active listening skills, empathy, sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings only in person instead of shooting off texts message or communicating through emails where the message can be “lost in translation”.
When practised, effective communication will ultimately produce a more harmonious and satisfying outcome.
Another tip for effective communication is to slow down and breath… And delay your automatic responses when upset or angry.
Try to respond to situations and people concisely, without the ‘fire’ of unrestrained emotions. Slow, steady and deep breathing will help relax the nervous system and make you feel calmer and a more effective communicator.
- Make time for reflection and mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness is the art of remaining in the present moment through completely surrendering your thoughts and other sensations in the here and now.
Taking out time for yourself and practising reflecting on your life by remaining silent and undistracted by technology or situations for a few minutes every day is a type of self-care routine that can facilitate metacognition (becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings).
Mindfulness meditation brings clarity to situations and decisions by reducing one’s brain fog.
- Yes, it’s in the way you love
I once heard someone say that “If you treat badly the people whom who love dearly when you’re angry, what are you like with people who are unknown to you?”
What a profound question for self-reflection!
If you really value the people around you, show them that you care (even when you’re angry) and allow them to feel consistently valued and respected.
So, before we act on our emotions too quickly, or we act on the wrong kind of emotions, which influence our decision-making ability – decisions and actions that we later regret.
Take time out and consider the following tips to control your emotions and regain rationality in any challenging situation.
Relationship Counselling Treatment
If you’re unable to control your emotional triggers, relationship counselling is highly recommended. Counselling can you give back clarity, confidence and well being
Counselling in Melbourne CBD psychologists are here to help you. You can schedule an appointment online or call us – 1300 967 734.