Relationship counselling can be of major benefit to couples, no matter what the cause or scope of your relationship issues might be. If problems are not dealt with early, they can escalate quickly to the extent the ‘issue’ could create a major crisis in the relationship.
However, it is very important to note when people start marriage counselling, they can normally ask some very complicated questions such as “Can my marriage be saved” or “We cannot decide if we should stay together”.
The underlying fact is the effectiveness of marriage counselling is directly connected to the enthusiasm levels of both partners to want to make it work.
The Purpose of Relationship Counselling
Many couples come to relationship counselling when the way that they relate to each other is changing.
Unfortunately, most couples wait much too long to reach out for help repairing their marriage.
By bottling up any negative thoughts and feelings you have and not being able to have an open discussion, doesn’t give your partner a chance to change their behavior – Relationship counselling provides a neutral environment where you can express or air any grievances you may have while your partner can listen rather deny anything was the matter.
What is an amazing statistic, according to relationship and marriage expert Dr. John Gottman, couples wait for an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help.
Let’s think about this – On average, someone in the relationship will be unhappy and are likely to build up resentment and frustration levels over 6-years before they seek help…
Relationship counselling can break this cycle.
When you undergo relationship counselling you meet with an experienced psychologist who is clinically trained to provide you with the correct approaches, strategies, and treatments to overcome problems that are at the core of your relationship problems.
As clinical psychologists in Melbourne, we find that couples benefit from counselling in the following ways:
A Neutral Third Party is Extremely Beneficial
Our psychologists can look at your problem objectively and help you to find a solution. Our counsellors make it clear that their role is to provide what their clients want albeit trying to help them stay together or to help couples part ways with less malice and to have a better mindset in preparation to engage in future relationships – the approach and strategy is centered around what the couple are seeking out of relationship counselling.
By commencing relationship counselling, with the psychologist as the neutral third party means the psychologist can work with you and encourage you to voice your opinions and emotions in a constructive and positive way.
However, without openness and honesty from both partners in the relationship, it’s not going to work.
Couples counselling is neither a quick fix nor a guaranteed one. But compared to the emotional — not to mention the financial — cost of divorce, counselling should be highly considered.
Relationship conflict can be resolved by communication
Improving or developing a new communication skill set between couples is critical to a successful relationship.Couples who can create a neutral and a relaxed atmosphere are normally able communicate their desires and objectives more coherently usually can gain the support and respect of their partner.
Improved communication also can stop the blame game, stops the threats and the ‘tick for tat’ exchanges which can occur when conflict arises. If you’re able to establish an open-ended dialogue, listen and when confused, ask for clarification if any of the points raised were unclear, you will find the relationship dynamics will alter enabling a more harmonious relationship.
Relationship counselling will identify any underlying issues, offer solutions as the psychologist can suggest better ways to communicate on a deeper level to each other.
Improved communication builds trust in a relationship.
Your Connection is enhanced.
Problem-solving becomes easier after couples counselling. You develop an improved understanding and restore lost intimacy and feelings of warmth and caring.
A motivated couple begins to explore their problems from a new perspective and are able to offer more constructive ways on how to resolve conflicts.An enhanced connection allows couples to decide to rebuild and recommit to their marriage.
“Couples who know each other intimately [and] are well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams are couples who make it.” Dr John Gottman
Our clinical psychologists in Melbourne can strengthen your relationship and help you to resolve differences of opinion and communicate more deeply and emotionally. For more information Call us 1300 967 734
Reviewed by Greg Redmond, Director, Counselling In Melbourne, October 2017
Our blog is for general educational purposes only and should not be relied upon as a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need help for an emotional or behavioural problem, please seek the assistance of an APHRA registered psychologist or other qualified mental health professionals